Here are the Nine things you should know to Encourage Independence for your Parents

1. BE POSITIVE.  Try broaching the subject when things are going well in your parents' life, rather than at a time of stress or in response to a problem or incident.  Allow your parents to make their own choices and resist the temptation to push issues unless their health or safety is in issue.

2.  ASK FOR HELP.  Ask mom or dad to help you understand what's important to them and what kind of assistance they would like to help them stay in their home as long as possible.

3.  MAKE IT EASIER FOR YOUR PARENT TO ACCEPT HELP.  Talk to your parent about your experience, or that of a friend or relative, in asking for help.  Show understanding about how hard it is sometimes for all of us to ask assistance from others.

4.  FOCUS ON THEM.  Focus on your parents' needs, desires, and worries about their current and future living situation.  Ask them how they feel about climbing the stairs, or if they have concerns about other possible safety hazards in the home.  Talk about modifications that can be made to make them more comfortable.

5.  ASK ABOUT DAILY ACTIVITIES.  Find out what your parent would like help with the most.  Is it the cooking?  Cleaning?  Yard work?  Transportation?  Ask them if anything about their current situation detracts from their enjoyment of daily activities.

6.  KNOW THE STATUS OF THEIR HEALTH.  Ask your parents about any health problems they have an ascertain their ability to manage daily health care.  How often do they fill prescriptions?  Are they having any problems taking their medications as directed?  Can they afford medications they need?

7.  MAKE SURE THEY CAN PAY THEIR EXPENSES.  It may be difficult to "but into" a parents' finances, but it's important to know if they can pay bills, eat well, and take advantage of the things that bring joy to their lives.

8.  FIND OUT HOW YOUR PARENTS GET AROUND.  Ask your parent how they get around on a typical day.  Do they drive or take a bus?  Are they getting rides with friends or are they walking?  Knowing how your parents travel can help you help them find the best ways to get where they want to go safely.

9.  RESEARCH COMMUNITY RESOURCES.  Check out transportation, meal or home care services that are readily available to make it possible for your parent to remain independent.

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